Arriving in Paris to the fifth nicest airport in the world and leaving from the 9th worst – google stats. Beauvais is a smooth 80km north of the city centre… well played Ryan Air, well played. Makes our 620am departure that much better. So we’re up at 2. Uber departing at 220, at the €16 airport bus station location at 245 and loaded on the bus by 315. We arrived half an hour early somehow, 430, had a quick bite – airport glizzy – and headed to security after they announced overhead that the Krakow flight would be boarding in 20 minutes… at 5:10, over an hour pre departure but whatever. 

Everyone wants this.

Security was atrocious. Swamped, stricter than average, inefficient. Boots off shoes on kind of place. Anything with a plug out and separate. I don’t know why I bother with my hair straightener, haven’t used it yet, dug it out for security though. They especially hated Thors bag locks, and I think as a personal punishment they took all his stuff out. Luckily he’s organized and everything was folded nice. Not like my bag – which – if they’d emptied and then left me to repack rushed I would’ve had a menty b on the floor. 

Ryanair was a peach at least. Tarmac load, front and rear, very basic but that’s the deal. No hassle about our (probably too large) packs, pleasant flight attendants & left on time. And they have gambling! Just scratch cards, but it was entertaining. Landing in Poland was a breeze as it’s part of the Schengen Area – basically open borders for 29 European countries. Touched down at 830, out and on the train in 15, having a tea in the old town across from the hotel by 930. Popped over to our hotel for our visit; Pod Rosa Hotel, at 1030 to see about leaving our bags to go walking. The sweet staff let us know we could check in early and we’d been upgraded to a suite, and it was a very sweet suite indeed. 

I chose Hotel Pod Rosa (which translates to ‘under the rose’) for the rich history, as it’s the oldest hotel in Krakow and holds true to their charm and character. As well as the lavish atmosphere and amenities. Once a renaissance palace of Prospero Provano, the first postmaster of Poland and a local merchant, among other things. Since the 17th century the residence has hosted international luminaries such as Tsar Alexander I of Russia, Grand Duke Constantine Romanov, Persian emissary to Napoleon Mohamed Riza, Franz Liszt & Honore de Balzac.

Located in the heart of the old town, on the rather busy “royal route” tourists flock to the Royal Castle, as has been done for hundreds of years. The square still preserves a historical aura, as the bells ring on the hour and a horn is played. It was admittedly a bit of a shock to see that blatant westernization and commercialism had taken hold. Everything from Sephora, Burger King, The Hard Rock Cafe, multiple Maccas, Starbucks… Beyond that there are still some gems though, you just have to know where to look. 

I also ate some very delicious donuts. Not a surprise, as I made it my life’s mission to sample donuts of the world. Dobra Pączkarnia pumps out fresh warm donuts, quite irresistible, I opted for wiśnia – cherry filled, on day one and raspberry/pistachio on day 3.

On our second day we lazily spent the morning enjoying the spa amenities in the basement level of the hotel, a small relaxing pool, horizontal showers, Vichy shower, Finnish sauna & steam sauna.

The showers, some with set variable intensities and fluctuating temperature jets stimulate the skin, relax the mind and sooth the body. The waterfall showers give a massage-esque effect and are also very relaxing in their own right.

Prior to spa time Thor fetched me a pistachio & fresh raspberry filled croissant, which was literal heaven on earth.

Post spa we ventured out to find something more satisfying than the previous nights dumplings. Kuchina Doroty was a total win, thanks Reddit, with the most unassuming star I’ve experienced to date. No pictures. A bowl of clear broth beetroot soup. The kielbasa, potato pancakes and pork schnitzel were also great, but I think I’ll remember the soup until I die. A literal flavour explosion. I can’t fathom how they got it to taste so good, so rounded and addictive.

And that was basically it for our quick Poland trip! Pic of sad cat food dumplings below! I’m a dumpling snob, but these were pretty mid, we got pork/ onion and mushroom/cheese, mushroom was better but still not that great.